This Time Next Week

Right around this time next week, I will be sitting in the convocation center at Eastern Michigan University, wearing my cap and gown and listening to...who knows what kind of commencement speech.  Shorty thereafter, I will be the proud holder of my bachelor's of science in elementary education.  I am SO excited, there really aren't enough words to encompass how I feel. 

Last night I went to a little cap decorating party with some of the awesome women who have been with me along the way.  Our caps look smashing and I had a great time hanging out with them.  We are all so ready for next week but there is nervous anticipation too.  Now it's actually starting to feel real! The journey from this post, (way back when I was first making decisions) to now, seems like a thousand miles.  And yet, the time actually seems to have gone by rather quickly too.  It's an odd conundrum really but I guess that's what happens when you're so busy. 

In any case...I am absolutely thrilled to have come so far and I feel really proud of all I've accomplished.  According to my transcript, I'll be graduating magna cum laude next week, which means I've been able to maintain an overall GPA of 3.75.  Considering all the other major things I've had on my plate over the past three-and-a-half years, and considering we've also had some significant life changes thrown into the mix, that's pretty darn awesome.  Come on, April 16! 




   



          



         

42 Days...

...until I GRADUATE!!!  I know not everyone will understand but this is HUGE for me.  This is a lifetime goal that I've always held and it's been a loooong time coming.  My educational path has been non-traditional in nearly every way.  My journey has included many twisting, winding, sometimes bumpy roads.  I was definitely not the girl who graduated from high school knowing exactly what she wanted.  There was a time when, despite my knowledge that it was important, I wondered if I would ever earn my bachelor's degree.  That was actually a really big factor in my decision to go back to school at the ripe old age of 32 - the knowledge that having a four year degree was something that really mattered to me in the grand scheme of my life.

There's a song by the Avett Brothers that I really love right  now.  My favorite line says, "Decide what to be and go be it."  I love that!  It speaks to me in the deep.  The song also talks about, "...a kid with a head full of doubt" and I feel somehow that the kid is/was me.  I wish I had been able to make those decisions when I was younger and I wish (sometimes) that I had just gotten all this done years ago.  But then...if that were the case, I wouldn't be who I am and I wouldn't have had any of the rich and rewarding experience along the way either.  Those twisting, turning roads have not been bad, just long at times.  For the most part though, my former educational and career experiences have been value added to the person I've become.

I wonder what the next chapter holds?  I wonder when/where/if I will find a job?  I wonder who my future students will be?  Which of those children will have "a head full of doubt" to which I may be able to add a ray of hope?  Although it took me a long time to get to where I am and although the uncertainty of being a job-seeker in the worst economy since the Great Depression is, to say the least, daunting, I can say for sure that my decision to be a teacher was absolutely the right one.  Gone (but not forgotten) is my head full of doubt.  Although fear is definitely in the mix too, I'm now able to look ahead with pride and confidence in how far I've come.  I'm also able to look ahead with hope that I may be able to make a difference in the future by influencing the people who will live in it.

 





   



          
 

This is the big one...

...this is the one we've all been waiting for!

OK well maybe we haven't all been waiting for it, but I certainly have.  I've been doing snow dances every time any kind of system moves through our area and this time, it seems to have finally worked!

If you didn't already know, teachers (including student teachers like me) LOVE snow days!!

This is what greeted me on weatherbug dot com a few minutes ago:

BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 10 PM THIS EVENING TO 7 PM EST WEDNESDAY


• A Blizzard Warning Means Severe Winter Weather Conditions Are Expected Or Occurring. Falling And Blowing Snow With Strong Winds And Poor Visibilities Are Likely. This Will Lead To Whiteout Conditions...Making Travel Extremely Dangerous. Do Not Travel. If You Must Travel...Have A Winter Survival Kit With You. If You Get Stranded...Stay With Your Vehicle.Urgent - Winter Weather Message, National Weather Service MI
 
Impacts...

• Heavy Snow...Strong Gusty Winds...And Widespread Blowing And
Drifting Snow Will Make Travel Dangerous Tonight And
Wednesday.

• White-Out Conditions With Visibilities Of One-Quarter Of Mile
Or Less Due To Intense Snowfall And Blowing Snow.

• Quickly Accumulating Snow And Blowing And Drifting Snow Will
Make Roads Very Hard To Clear.

• Untreated Roads Will Become Slippery...Snowpacked...And
Dangerous.

• Heavy Snow And Strong Winds May Cause Power Outages.

Hazardous Weather...

• Snow Will Spread North Into Southeast Michigan Late This
Evening And Become Heavy Overnight Into Wednesday.

• Northeast Winds Will Gust In Excess Of 35 Mph Tonight And
Wednesday Morning...Creating Areas Of Blowing And Drifting
Snow...And Widespread Blizzard Conditions.

• The Heaviest Snow And Strongest Wind Gusts Are Expected To
Coincide Between Midnight Tonight And 10 AM Wednesday.

• Heavy Storm Total Snow Accumulations Between 8 And 12 Inches
Are Expected.

• Wind Chills Are Forecasted To Range Between 0 And 5 Degrees
Below Zero Tonight.

I've also already learned that Eastern Michigan University has closed for tonight and tomorrow, which is VERY rare and the public libraries in our area have all closed for tomorrow.  Obviously my first and most important concern is for everyone to stay safe and warm...and to stay OFF the roads if at all possible.  Bearing that in mind, bring on the snow!  I'm guessing the preschool where I'm currently student teaching will close for two days, based on what my CT and other veterans had to say this morning.  Two days of unexpected time off?  That definitely works for me!!  

I'll be sure and post pictures and updates later, assuming I'm not buried under the white stuff!  

 





   

Three Weeks In

Well vacation came and went, school started, routines changed, tears fell, summer ended...and that brings us to now. 

I've been officially student teaching for three weeks now.  So far things are going well.  I am more exhausted than I've ever been, perhaps with the lone exception of the weeks prior to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism, several years ago.  In case you didn't know, keeping pace with 24 six-year-old children and then coming home to a 16-month-old toddler on a daily basis has a tendency to deplete your energy!

Overall my placement is good.  I mostly enjoy my time at school and am happy to (finally) be applying some of the knowledge I've been spending the last few years accumulating.  Today I got to do some real teaching, which consisted of reading the children a book and going over some math and grammar worksheets with them as a whole group.  Up to this point, I've been feeling rather like a (slightly) glorified secretary.  Not that I mind doing some of the prep work when that's needed but it was becoming quite excessive for a minute.  There have also been some scheduling issues, which are completely out of my control. 

There's been a lot of stress surrounding the time of day the children are slotted to go to their "specials," which are subjects like art, gym, music, technology and media.  They go first thing in the morning, which means all the academic subjects have to be crammed into one long afternoon...NOT a good arrangement for first graders!  Since I'm required to do two student teaching semesters--one for elementary education and one for early childhood education--I'm currently at the school for three full days and two half days each week.  These (along with daycare arrangements, my husband's work schedule and our car sharing arrangements) have been in place since late August.  It's not logistically feasible for me to make any major changes to my schedule at this point, which basically means I end up missing out on a big chunk of the academic schedule with the children on two days of my work week.  Granted, this is a bummer but it's not something that will be detrimental to my placement and my learning this semester.  I'll still have plenty of opportunities to observe and teach all of the subjects, not to mention the fact that I will be working five full days during the two weeks when I'm teaching my unit.  There has been so much stress surrounding all this and it's very frustrating, for all parties involved.  With the support of my college supervisor, I finally had to directly state that a schedule change was not possible for me.  It was tough for me to speak up like that, since I want to shine in my role as a student teacher but it was essential.  Once that conversation was over, some of the stress eased.  It's still a daily challenge but the stress is no longer directed at me and my schedule, which is a huge relief.

Whew!  That was unintentionally long-winded.  I'm required to keep a paper journal as part of my student teaching experience and of course, I've been writing about all this (and then some) in that.  I didn't expect to have so much to say about all this here but it just kept coming.  Stream of consciousness I suppose.  In any case, I'm done for tonight.  Time for me to go get ready for tomorrow and then get some much needed sleep.  All the stress and exhaustion aside, I do love getting up in the mornings, knowing I get to spend my day with youngsters.  I feel that my time is valuable and purposeful now, in a way that it really never has been before.  I can't imagine how great I'll feel when I reach the point where I'm actually getting paid to do something I love so much...hang out with children.  First graders are so very sweet!       

 





   

Big Wheels Keep on Turning

I could have given this post a title about the winds of change blowing because they are around here, big time!  A little over a week ago, I closed the books on my last on-campus class at Eastern.  All that's left for me before I graduate is two semesters of student teaching, the first of which starts in a little over two weeks!  There is one short year between me and my bachelor's degree and I absolutely can't wait for that achievement.  I know the year will fly by, which is a good thing on one hand and a bad thing on the other since it also means I will have a two-year-old by then.  It's unsettling to want the time to fly by so desperately and at the same time want it to slow down so I can hold onto my baby a little bit longer.   

Student teaching is called the "capstone experience" of my degree and I can understand why.  There is so much resting on my performance during this one semester in the classroom, it's a little intimidating.  At the same time, I'm very excited and very ready to put everything I've learned into practice.  I've already gotten my feet pretty wet with my substitute teaching experience but this will be different.  I will actually get to know these children and I will feel like more of an influence in their lives.  That's what it's all about for me anyway--this career choice I've made.  I want to be able to make a difference in the lives of children.  I hope this coming year is the first in a long line of opportunities for me to do that.

But oh I am terrified!  I'm not even sure exactly what I'm scared of.  I guess just the change.  I'm nervous about being a guest in another teachers' classroom.  I've met her and so far I really like her, but what if we don't get along?  What if I don't agree with her teaching philosophies? What if I overstep my boundaries in my efforts to be self-motivated and independent?  What if she doesn't like me?  And I'm worried about my feet too.  I need some good shoes but money is very limited for us at this stage of the game.  I already have issues with my ankle and I know standing on my feet all day every day is going to exacerbate that. 

Then there's the incomprehensible balance between work and home.  I know people do it all the time but I'm not sure how.  I wrote about my feelings on this a little bit in this post but they are still largely unresolved.  I've been dreaming about leaving our son in daycare.  All the dreams have been affirming ones but still, I am very nervous about this change.  I know that the only way for me to make peace with it is for it to happen and for everything to be fine.  I know that I just have to suck it up and get over the fact that someone else is going to have almost as much time with my son every week as I have with him.  That is much easier said than done though.  Even knowing I really like the woman who will be caring for him, it's so difficult for me to let go and trust the fact that he will be fine and he will adjust to the new situation.    

To add to the mix, we also have major car problems on our plate.  Buying a car, even an old one, is simply not an option for us at this point.  We really need tho old ones to hold out for this one final year, until I can find a job.  The current chariot of choice, meaning the one that gets us where we're going, is our '99 Ford Taurus.  My parents gave us this car when it was old but still in relatively good shape.  Now though, the transmission is in the advanced stages of certain death and there is a hole in the exhaust line such that the car literally roars from place to place.  How in the world am I going to maintain my dignity and put my best foot forward at my new school (which, by the way, is also the school that I would really love to work at someday) when I'm arriving in that junker every day?  The other option we have is to fix our 2001 Toyota but it's in need of repairs that are likely to run in the thousands and that is not something we can even consider. It just is what it is.  Luckily the school is not far from home and both of Michael's jobs are relatively close so the driving we will need to do is minimal.  Still though, there is only so much coaxing and praying that can be done before all the wings and prayers run out. 

To end on a positive note, we have a much needed family lake vacation coming up next week that will, hopefully, be a relaxing closeout to summer.  We'll be staying in a cabin right on the lake with my whole family, which should be lots of fun.

Smashing Brick Walls

Right on the heels of my good news about school, I received some relatively bad news about school. I called to check on the status of my spring/summer loan request and this is the information I received:

"Actually, you've reached your aggregate loan limit for undergraduate studies."

My what? Until Wednesday, I had no prior knowledge of the term "aggregate loan limit," and I certainly had no clue that I was anywhere near reaching mine. NOT GOOD, especially when you're paying for your education and supplementing your family's income (barely getting by I might add) through student loans. Apparently this term was couched (and explained) somewhere in the depths of the multiple pages of financing jargon I was supposed to have read when I signed my promissory note. My bad for simply glossing over all that stuff. Does anyone actually read it all, I wonder?

And the worst part is that no one, not one single person, ever took the time to look at my situation carefully enough to let me know that this was something about which I might have needed to be aware. I've been to counselors and I've stayed in touch. I've played my cards by the book, both academically and financially. My biggest crime is my lack of awareness and expertise about how this system operates. Now, only two short semesters away from the end, I'm receiving the news that my financial safety net is gone.

The bottom line is that where huge, bureaucratic institutions are concerned, you're on your own. You can go to as many counselors as you want but in the end, you're completely and totally on your own to navigate the waters and understand the systems. There is no real support in place for this stuff - half the time you can't even speak to a real human being anymore.

I do get it. I understand why they put limits and ceilings in place. It's to prevent people from repeatedly getting loans that they never intend to repay. But that's not me. Granted, I went about things more than a little backwards where my education is concerned but I'm not a slacker with no ambitions...and I'm certainly not intending to abuse the system in any way. But none of that matters. This is a hard limit, completely black-and-white. There are no provisions in place for someone like me who actually does have a legitimate need to borrow the last little chunk of college money I need. There is no room for someone to fall into a gray area, exactly like the one in which I now find myself. Arghhhhhhh, all of this is SO utterly frustrating!

I know I have to take my fair share of the responsibility for this SNAFU and I'm painfully aware of the fact that I'm the one who now has to suffer the consequences of my lack of awareness regarding my educational loans but still...this smacks pretty hard.

So the long story short is that Michael and I now have to find some way to come up with the requisite ~ $6,000 that I need in order to finish up my last few classes at Eastern and complete my two semesters of Student Teaching. *sigh* I have NO idea what we're going to do and I'm pretty much stressed to the max. Suddenly there's a lovely little brick wall that has obtrusively asserted itself smack in the middle of my path. Ugh.

I feel a little sick.

That being said, I'm not about to let that brick wall stand in my way. I fully intend to either go over the damn thing or smash right through it. Either way, I will finish my degree. I'm currently investigating my options so that I can come up with a plan for how to get enough money. Wish me luck!

Undergraduate Symposium & Student Teaching - Opportunities Abound!

Well the wheels are beginning to turn a bit faster for me where school is concerned. I'm finally, finally just about done with my course work and ready for student teaching! This is my last mainstream semester (it's been a rough one) and then I have four (or hopefully only three if I get my waiver for speech) classes to take this spring/summer and I'm on my way to student teaching!

I met with my cooperating teacher on Friday and she seems really nice. I'm going to be working with her from September-December of this year so I hope the relationship continues to go well. She teaches first grade in the district that was my first choice so I'm pretty happy about my placement. :) It's going to be a lot of hard, exhausting work for NO pay, which is pretty stressful but I hope it will also be a good experience that will lay the foundation for me to be a strong teacher when I finally get a job.

Speaking of getting a job, I've potentially got another great thing to add to my resume! Last week, a professor asked me to stay after class to see her. Of course I was a tad nervous but it turned out to be a very good thing. Based on some of the work I've done this semester, she wants to nominate me, along with two other students, to take part in the undergraduate symposium at EMU. I still have to gather some information and talk with the other two students to figure out exactly how this all works but I think being nominated is a pretty strong, positive statement. There are usually only 300 presentations per annual school year. With an approximated total student body of 23,000, I must be doing something right. :)

It's so nice to finally be seeing some of my hard work beginning to pay off. For such a long time now I've been in school with a seemingly insurmountable pile of classes and requirements to wade through but now, almost out of nowhere, the end is in sight and is, I think, very much an attainable goal. How thrilling!

Opportunity Knocks...

A few weeks ago I received an email from one of the professors in the Early Childhood Education program at Eastern. I've heard her name off an on, but haven't actually had any classes with her. It was a bit of a surprise to see her name in my inbox. Here is part of the message she sent:

Drs. B.eaubien and D.ichtelmiller shared with me, at my request, a select group of students whom they believe to have the potential to be real leaders. Your name was one of the names I received. I serve as the faculty advisor for the Association for the Education of Young Children-EMU. I am looking for a few students to take leadership for next year. If you are interested in serving in a leadership capacity, or just want to know more about the organization, let me know and I will include you in a group meeting...

I've just come from that group meeting, and I'm feeling pretty excited about the potential of becoming involved with this organization. Not only will this look great on my resume when it comes time for me to look for a job, but it's also nice to be noticed as a person who stands out from the crowd. This could also be a great way for me to meet/connect with people who are on the same educational path I'm on, which in invaluable.

Who knows what will come of all this, but I do feel buoyed after the votes of confidence from my current professors. I left the meeting a few minutes ago with a spring in my step and a smile on my face...that certainly counts for something!

Getting There...

Well this semester has been insanely insane for me...19 credit hours has made most days fly by in a whirlwind! I've had to stay very organized and on top of things in order to keep it all together, but overall I've been OK. We're finally getting down to that end-of-term crunch time where everything is due and demands are high. This will be a stressful few weeks ahead, but then I'll be done, AND I'll have eight more classes checked off my list! Even though I've been busy as a bee, I'm glad I went ahead with the crazy semester while I was able to take on such a heavy load. My husband has been great, very supportive and understanding as I've put virtually everything but school on hold. I'm getting to the point in my educational career where I can see that light at the end of the tunnel, and it puts a smile on my face. I now only have a few spring/summer classes, in addition to two more big semesters and I'll be ready for my year of student teaching. It seems so close and still so far away! I can't wait to finally graduate and move on, but having said that, I'm also trying to be where I am and enjoy the positive aspects of being a "college kid."

Frozen

I've had two experiences involving frozen things over the past couple of months, both of which have been really disturbing. This has been a cold, bitter winter...more so than most Michigan winters through which I've lived. So anyway...a few weeks ago, I had a nice, steaming hot burrito for my lunch. I'll admit it, I have a weakness for Taco Bell, though more for the hot sauce than the food. I don't go there often because I'm trying to avoid the whole fast food pitfall, but alas, I digress!

So there I was, sitting in my car, eating my nice, hot burrito as I waited for my next class to begin. The outside temp was (I think) maybe 5 degrees that day, so yeah...cold! I was hungry, having not eaten since early that morning. I looked into my bag, and...no hot sauce! To understand the magnitude of this problem, you have to understand my relationship to TB hot sauce. For me, eating TB food without hot sauce would be...I don't know, like eating a sandwich without bread. I love Taco Bell hot sauce! So anyway...I was disappointed, but still very hungry. I looked around my car and saw the long-forgotten, and very frozen hot sauce in my cup holder. I thought about this for maybe two seconds and then decided it was better than no hot sauce. I opened the packet and put the sauce on my burrito. The stuff was the consistency of thick mucus and it was so cold that it hurt my teeth when I took a bite. The combination of very hot with very cold was unsettling. Let's just say I ate the remainder of my burrito with no sauce and it has been easier for me to avoid Taco Bell since then. The mental image of that slimy, frozen packet of snot keeps creeping into my mind...gross!

Then yesterday, when the temps dropped below zero again, I was on my way to school when I realized I had forgotten my chap stick. One annoying side effect of extreme cold and dry heating all winter long is dry, chapped lips. I needed my chap stick! Again, I looked around my icebox of a car and discovered some long-forgotten and very frozen chap stick in the center console. I pried the cap off and placed the tip on my lips. I attempted to move the tube back-and-forth, in the manner of a person applying chap stick, but no...the thing just sat there, affixed to my lips in one spot. Apparently, frozen chap stick is closely related to glue! I might as well have had a glue stick in my hand and been trying to put that onto my lips. I managed to get enough chap stick to make a small difference, but it was cold and clumpy and basically just gross. I survived the rest of my day without chap stick, but I've certainly learned that some things are just better left alone when frozen!

Just in time for "spring" break...

we are having another big snowfall today, 4-8" expected, which will be nowhere near the actual amount we end up with! Still, it IS only February in Michigan and the news media people are really making a big deal out of this storm, funny!

Ironically, my "spring break" began today as well. Of course, they have now conveniently changed the name of this mid-semester break to "winter recess," but it will always be spring break to me since that's what I grew up hearing. I would love to be spending my break somewhere warm without snow, but I'm also happy to just have some time to do something other than homework for a change. First on my list is catching up with family and friends, closely followed by some TLC for my poor, neglected home!

A Fellow "Greenie"

I'm not normally the type to strike up conversations with random strangers, but the other day at school the lounge where I normally eat my lunch was crammed full. I contemplated leaving and going somewhere else to eat my lunch in solitude, but then I thought better if that idea. I asked someone who was sitting alone at a table if I could share her space. She was friendly and more than happy to let me sit down, but we were both engrossed in our own activities. That is...until I removed my treasured wrap-n-mat reusable sandwich bag, one of the ones I talked about in this post. Her eyes grew wide and she gasped, saying, "Oh my gosh, that is the coolest thing I've ever seen!" She reached out her hand and then looked at me tentatively, "Can I touch it?" she asked. I smiled and nodded and she gingerly felt the shiny plastic part of my wrap-n-mat. She asked where I got it and then examined the mat even more closely to see how it was made.

That one small encounter turned out to be the beginning of a welcome lunch break conversation. From the discussion of the wrap-n-mats, we moved on to reusable grocery bags, and the whole idea of "going green," in which we were both interested, became a frame for a broader discussion that included life at school, our chosen majors, heavy backpacks, stressful professors, and our families. For the first time in a while, I enjoyed my lunch without feeling lonely. Don't get me wrong, I have my fair share of hallway acquaintances and class buddies here at Eastern, but the truth is that while I am happy here most of the time, I also often feel somewhat isolated. Maybe isolated is the wrong word...maybe I feel different. The fact is, I am different from the vast majority of my classmates. I'm no longer the young woman whose chief concerns are men and what she should wear. I'm glad I'm no longer that girl, because my life has a richness to it now that wasn't there before, but still...this does set me apart from the majority of people with whom I attend classes, and sometimes that can be hard.

All in all, solitude...and even loneliness to a degree aren't the end of the world. I may not make any lifetime friends during my time here at school, but at least I can have meaningful and memorable conversations over a shared lunch table!

Registration Frustration

I've been trying to get myself registered for fall classes since Friday night. The task is finally complete, but not without a significant amount of frustration on my part. I even had a full blown temper tantrum at one point, and I shoved a huge stack of books onto the floor. Luckily no one other than our dogs was here to witness my childish outburst.

It's been one thing after another. First I couldn't get connected and then when I finally did I discovered that ALL of the sections for the two early childhood education classes I need are CLOSED. And this is a full three months before classes start...it's not like I'm procrastinating! So...fine...I decided to change my schedule to M/W instead of the T/Th set up I've had for the past several years. I was annoyed but I got over it. Still there was no way to make it work. I finally called the department of teacher ed and they said they were opening up some additional classes so I should be OK. Fine, so immediately when I got home after that phone call I jumped online to register. NOPE! The only classes they added were a direct conflict to the one remaining time frame of the co-requisite class I need. So...still no luck. I did everything, I even emailed the instructor and very nicely asked her for an override, which was promptly denied.

So...to make a long story short...I switched back to my T/Th preferred days and re-arranged my entire schedule. I decided to change my fall 2008 classes for my winter 2009 classes. This is not at all what I was expecting, but at least it does work. I shouldn't have nearly as many issues registering for winter classes when that time comes because I'm already in the college of ed and I'm an independent senior so I can register first. This is all just so annoying! How can they possibly think it's OK to only offer two sections of a given class when there are hundreds of people who need to take it each semester?

This coming semester is going to be HECTIC! I've got 16 credit hours, which includes a field experience class that will require me to visit schools on a regular basis. That plus caring for Ava the other three days of the week...my head hurts just thinking about it! But...I have to do what I have to do, and at some point I WILL finish all of these requirements and be able to move on with my life. Someday!

Here's my schedule for fall:

• Field Experience II for Elementary - Online with field experience
• Early Literacy Reading - T/R 11:00 am to 12:15 pm
• Curriculum & Methods for Elementary - T/R 2:00 to 3:15
• American Government - T/R 3:30 pm to 4:45
• Schools for a Diverse/Democratic Society - T 5:30 to 8:0 p.m.
• Educating Students w/ Exceptionalities - R 5:30 to 9:00 p.m.

Decision Time

I met with my academic adviser today and she laid out two different plans for me. One includes a minor in Early Childhood Education (ECE) and one does not. The difference is approximately a year of schooling and/or student teaching. Both plans include fairly intense semesters with at least 14 credit hours and sometimes more. Both plans include at least one or two classes in spring/summer semesters. Basically, if I minor in ECE, I won't finish all my requirements until 2011. I won't have a job until 2012, at which time I'll be 36 years old. Three more years of limited income, scraping by with a crappy car, and having little stability in terms of a job. Three more years of feeling waaaaay too old to be where I am and feeling like I don't pull enough weight financially. On the other hand, I could have a "structure of the disciplines" minor and be done by 2010, possibly working by 2011 when I'm 35. Plus, this path only includes one semester of student teaching while ECE includes two. In terms of jobs though, the ECE minor will make me look really good on paper, while the less specialized minor will make me nothing more than a speck in a sea of other equally qualified, younger candidates. Hmmmmmmmm...I'm really not sure what to do.

My adviser recommended sticking it out for the extra year and getting the ECE endorsement, but SHE isn't the one who has to live this crazy life until then. When I first thought about coming back to EMU to do teaching, I never in all my life imagined it would take me this long. The bear of Elementary Ed is that it's very generalized, so there are A LOT of general ed requirements that I wouldn't have if I had chosen a different career plan.

Ugh! I wish this could be easier and more clear cut. There are sooo many requirements and forms and things to do/consider. I honestly find all of it somewhat overwhelming! At the same time, I am excited about being a teacher and I want to make this happen. I guess I'm going to go turn in my application and essay with the ECE intent, and if I decide to change my mind, I'll do that according to their procedures. It probably IS the smarter thing to do. A year can go by pretty quickly, and I DO want to teach the little ones, so I guess this really makes the most sense for me at this point.

Finally done!

Well the semester is over at last and now I can finally relax a little! I'll be taking a math class this summer but it doesn't start until May 30, so until then I have some time to focus on some things I want to do instead of all the stuff I have to do! My semester was actually quite successful, in spite of some of my initial concerns about geography. Here are my final grades:

• Educational Learning & Development: A
• Teacher Preparation Field Experience Online Practicum: A (Pass/No Pass and I passed:)
  
• Multicultural Children's Lit: A
• Feminism, Theory & Philosophy: A
• Geography & World Regions: B

Not too bad all things considered! It was a heavy load, with work and life also piled on top, so I'm happy to have done so well. This means I've successfully completed a total of ten classes so far at Eastern, all in one short year...obstacles and all! I hope next year will go well too...I have much to do and some hurdles to jump over (math and physics!) in order to get prepared for student teaching. Mostly I can't wait to get all this education behind me so I can get a job and move on with life!!

Other than that I'm just staying busy with all the things that have been on hold due to school. My goal for this next week is to get signed up to become a sub. I went and got fingerprinted yesterday, and I have an orientation meeting on Wed. of next week. I'm hoping I can get everything lined up so I can actually sub a few days this school year, but we'll have to see if that actually pans out or not. The whole idea of subbing makes me nervous enough to feel sick...but I've got to bite the bullet at some point and get myself into the classroom! I'm sure I can handle the task, and the experience will do me good, but it will be a learning curve too. Undoubtedly there will be more to come where all this is concerned.

In other news, I found out Monday that my oldest friend in Michigan (by oldest I mean friend I've had the longest, not oldest age-wise) has just purchased a house two doors down from me! It will be interesting/exciting to have her living so close by. I'm sure we will have fun, and in many ways it will be nice to know I already know my new neighbor. :) I'm really happy for her, I know becoming a home owner is something she's been looking forward to for a long time now!

I guess that's about it for tonight. It's been a long day and I'm getting tired. It rained most of the day today, which we needed, but which also meant I was inside all day with the girls. Not bad necessarily, just more draining than when we can get outside to play.

For Today Only

That's the best sign I've read all day! In an otherwise busy, hectic, and borderline chaotic school day...my middle class was canceled, "for today only!" I can breathe a sigh of relief now and go use my extra time wisely...yippee for me!

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel really old when I'm here at school. This morning I overheard someone say "don't compare us to those old students...well, not old but you know, like the 30-year-olds. That makes a big difference and I don't like being compared." This is the girl (child) in my 8:00 a.m. class who talks a mile a minute to anyone who will listen. She was discussing how she didn't think it was fair that her teacher had lectured the class because the average on a test they took was only 64%. Am I missing something?

I like school most of the time, I really do...but I also want to be done. Sometimes I wish I had taken the less complicated road and gotten all of this done when I was still a child. I almost did go into education back then but life got in the way and things changed. Before I knew it I was 30 and still not feeling truly successful. So...here I am...better late than never as they say. I wouldn't change the path I've taken...most of it has been great and most of the time life here at EMU is all good but today is one of those days, I just feel tired. The fact that I don't have the same energy these younger people have is making itself known today. I try to have tolerance for their youth but then I listen to their conversations and I really don't think I was THAT immature when I was their age.

Whatever! I guess I'm just grumpy. I've got my impending math test, it's supposed to rain for the next three+ days, I'm hungry, and finals are coming up. Grrrrr!

Melba

Seriously!

Today was the third day at Eastern...yes I said third...that I've had to crawl from the passenger side of my car over to the driver's side of my car because the MORONS I'm going to school with don't know how to park their cars!!! The first time it was kind of funny, the second time it was annoying and today, when I got to my car at 8:00 p.m. I was just plain irritated. If even 1/2 of the people in this messed up world (in particular the young people who are supposed to be adults) would look around them and realize, even for one minute that they're not the only people on the planet, many of our chronic problems and issues would disappear.

Whatever. Luckily the day is over now and I can put it behind me. I'm just tired. I'm tired of this semester and tired of stupid, selfish, annoying people who care only about themselves.

MSL

WORMS!!!

A sure sign of spring...worms! They're everywhere today after the rain we had last night. The earth smells entirely different and I'm 100% convinced it's because of the worms. Once upon a time I would have made an "ewww" face at the sight of so many worms wriggling about, but now that I'm a gardener I realize the intrinsic value of the slimy goobers. My acceptance of them has come in stages. First I was disgusted by them, then I would touch them as long as I had my gloves on and now I just pick them up without a care in the world. Strange how one can adapt to such things over time.

Today I should probably wear an insanity badge. If anyone saw me on the way from my class over here to the library, I's sure they got a kick out of my behavior. I was actually stopping to pick up the wandering worms and throw them back into the grass. My mission is twofold: First it's to save the worms from certain death due to foot traffic; after all, they do so much for my garden at home, I think rescuing them is the least I can do. Second it's to help out the grass and soil here at EMU. Worm poop works like magic for grass and plants!

Good times.

MSL

Just Bread and Lettuce...

...OK so at school yesterday let me just set the scene for you:

I'm in the largest building on campus and it's absolutely packed with fellow students. I'm hungry and class starts in 20 minutes.

I wait patiently in the long line to get my overly priced turkey sandwich but when it's finally my turn she can't find any more turkey sandwiches. "I'll take the chicken salad instead then" I reply. Seven dollars and forty seven cents later I've got my lunch. So over to the bench I go to quickly eat my sandwich before class. I open the container and I am dismayed to find that there is nothing more than bread, wilted lettuce, and a slimy tomato in a bag. Irritated, tired, and hungry at this point I march back up to the counter and (politely) say, "I didn't get any actual chicken salad, there's just bread and lettuce here." The guy looked at me, looked at my sandwich container, looked back at me and then with a huge grin said, "that's the chicken salad right there" as he pointed to the small container I had presumed to be potato salad nestled next to my bread and lettuce lunch.

OK so I haven't felt that stupid in quite a while! I did at least have the good grace to laugh at myself but SERIOUSLY! "There's nothing but bread and lettuce here." WHAT A MORON!

I don't think I'll be frequenting that cafe again for a while...