The Search is Over...

Quite a long time ago, I wrote A POST about church and my {rather conflicted} feelings on the matter.  I did attend the church I referenced in that post for about six months, nearly every week.  I even went to Sunday school, and I met some people there that I still remember fondly now.  For reasons I won't bore you with here, I fell off the bandwagon.  Life got very complicated for a time, and then our son was born.

Life got even more complicated.  Everything changed.

One thing that didn't change though, was that my spiritual existence felt very unformed.  Any time I thought of God or church or religion at all, I pictured a mental image of a blank screen with a little cursor flashing in the corner.  Like those old Compuware 486 computers used to do when you first turned them on.  Like, "Come on already will you please DO something?"  When our son turned two not that long ago, I started talking to my older sister about how I was feeling.  I told  her that I really wanted to start taking the little one to church because I wanted him to have a moral foundation upon which to grow and learn.  We talked about how we can teach our children morals but we really want/need a moral community within which to raise our children so that those lessons we teach can be reinforced by the broader "community" if you will.  We also talked about how many of our closest relationships over the years blossomed as a result of our shared experiences at church.  Call it divinity or whatever you will, but my sister had a lot of the same feelings I did regarding church.  Though we hadn't previously discussed it a lot, we had both been wrestling with it privately and wishing for a solution.

That was it then, we had to start going to church.  We enlisted the support of our younger sister, who has also been wanting to find a church she can attend.  Three sisters strong, we started church-hopping to see what was available.  The first church we attended, chosen by me, had an excellent children's ministry but left us all feeling a little uncertain in other ways.  We decided we would each choose a church per week until we (hopefully) found one about which we could all feel good.  The next week, my younger sister chose for us to try Unity Church of Ann Arbor.

As it turned out, neither of my sister's made it to church that week, which left me attending services alone with my little one.  Despite the slight, inevitable awkwardness of attending church alone, and despite the fact that I didn't know children's services were only available at the 11:00 service, meaning I had to entertain my two-year-old the whole time, I loved the church.  I found myself thinking that I really hoped my sister's would like this church too because I was pretty sure I wouldn't be looking any further.  I left there that Sunday feeling spiritually full, like I was ready to face the world and all it's complications.  My mind wandered back to points from the sermon several times that following week.  I felt not only like I wanted to be a better person, but also like I could be a better person.  I felt the way I always imagined my church would make me feel.  Since that time, my sister's have also attended--and become very fond of--the church.  We all sort of feel like we belong there, even though it hasn't been that long since we started attending.  The things I like best about this church are:

• There are many different skin tones, both among the congregation and among the clergy members.  
• They teach based on the foundation of the bible and Jesus but they relate it to today, to real life.
• They practice meditation and mind calming techniques.  
• They teach based on a set of principles that leave room for different interpretations.  
• They don't have a "my way or else" philosophy.  
• The church is not tiny but not huge.  I'm already beginning to know people and I don't feel lost in the crowd.  
• They are open to questions and individual interpretation of their teachings.  
• They love my little boy and have welcomed us with open arms.  

There are other reasons I like this church too but they can all be summed up by saying that I feel that I can truly be myself here.  I can come in with my questions, my doubts and openly seeking a stronger connection with God and that will be supported.  I can teach my son the things I believe and know that his spiritual journey as he grows will also be supported and nourished.  That is profound, and so far, so is the Unity Church of Ann Arbor.






   



                       

Big Wheels Keep on Turning

I could have given this post a title about the winds of change blowing because they are around here, big time!  A little over a week ago, I closed the books on my last on-campus class at Eastern.  All that's left for me before I graduate is two semesters of student teaching, the first of which starts in a little over two weeks!  There is one short year between me and my bachelor's degree and I absolutely can't wait for that achievement.  I know the year will fly by, which is a good thing on one hand and a bad thing on the other since it also means I will have a two-year-old by then.  It's unsettling to want the time to fly by so desperately and at the same time want it to slow down so I can hold onto my baby a little bit longer.   

Student teaching is called the "capstone experience" of my degree and I can understand why.  There is so much resting on my performance during this one semester in the classroom, it's a little intimidating.  At the same time, I'm very excited and very ready to put everything I've learned into practice.  I've already gotten my feet pretty wet with my substitute teaching experience but this will be different.  I will actually get to know these children and I will feel like more of an influence in their lives.  That's what it's all about for me anyway--this career choice I've made.  I want to be able to make a difference in the lives of children.  I hope this coming year is the first in a long line of opportunities for me to do that.

But oh I am terrified!  I'm not even sure exactly what I'm scared of.  I guess just the change.  I'm nervous about being a guest in another teachers' classroom.  I've met her and so far I really like her, but what if we don't get along?  What if I don't agree with her teaching philosophies? What if I overstep my boundaries in my efforts to be self-motivated and independent?  What if she doesn't like me?  And I'm worried about my feet too.  I need some good shoes but money is very limited for us at this stage of the game.  I already have issues with my ankle and I know standing on my feet all day every day is going to exacerbate that. 

Then there's the incomprehensible balance between work and home.  I know people do it all the time but I'm not sure how.  I wrote about my feelings on this a little bit in this post but they are still largely unresolved.  I've been dreaming about leaving our son in daycare.  All the dreams have been affirming ones but still, I am very nervous about this change.  I know that the only way for me to make peace with it is for it to happen and for everything to be fine.  I know that I just have to suck it up and get over the fact that someone else is going to have almost as much time with my son every week as I have with him.  That is much easier said than done though.  Even knowing I really like the woman who will be caring for him, it's so difficult for me to let go and trust the fact that he will be fine and he will adjust to the new situation.    

To add to the mix, we also have major car problems on our plate.  Buying a car, even an old one, is simply not an option for us at this point.  We really need tho old ones to hold out for this one final year, until I can find a job.  The current chariot of choice, meaning the one that gets us where we're going, is our '99 Ford Taurus.  My parents gave us this car when it was old but still in relatively good shape.  Now though, the transmission is in the advanced stages of certain death and there is a hole in the exhaust line such that the car literally roars from place to place.  How in the world am I going to maintain my dignity and put my best foot forward at my new school (which, by the way, is also the school that I would really love to work at someday) when I'm arriving in that junker every day?  The other option we have is to fix our 2001 Toyota but it's in need of repairs that are likely to run in the thousands and that is not something we can even consider. It just is what it is.  Luckily the school is not far from home and both of Michael's jobs are relatively close so the driving we will need to do is minimal.  Still though, there is only so much coaxing and praying that can be done before all the wings and prayers run out. 

To end on a positive note, we have a much needed family lake vacation coming up next week that will, hopefully, be a relaxing closeout to summer.  We'll be staying in a cabin right on the lake with my whole family, which should be lots of fun.

Arriving in Hell, On Left

Yep, that's right...today n we took a day trip to Hell...Hell, Michigan that is. :) We had a great time, even though Hell is so small that if you blink while driving by you're likely to miss it entirely. Michael's sister, Margaret has been visiting from Scotland, and she decided her visit wouldn't be complete without stopping by Hell so she could send a slightly singed post card back home.

We all got a good laugh when the computerized voice on the GPS said, "Arriving in Hell, On Left." Yes indeed, this tiny town has made the most of its name...there is no shortage of cheesy hell jokes and amusing decorations!


There's a general store on one corner where you can buy all sorts of themed paraphernalia, including Halloween decorations galore, as well as the a fore mentioned post cards. Then on the other side of the parking lot, there's "Hell's Kitchen," where you can get some pretty darn good grinder "sand-witches." We all had a good time playing with Charlie on the porch while we waited for ours.

In the middle of the two shops, there are a myriad of photo-ops, as well as a miniature golf range for the kiddos. Completing the package is a church with a question mark for a steeple. I know some people wouldn't be able to see the humor in that, but we had to laugh. I think they actually do real weddings!

Garlic Mustard Weed-Out Day

My younger sister, Holly and I went out to volunteer for the 11th annual Garlic Mustard Weed-Out day today. We went to Bird Hills Park in Ann Arbor, and we had a great time while also doing something productive and beneficial for our local environment.

If you don't know about it, Garlic Mustard is a non-native, invasive species that was originally brought over by Europeans.

It spreads very rapidly and can quickly snuff out the surrounding plant life, thereby impacting biodiversity and ultimately affecting the entire natural habitat. But--thanks to adopt-a-park workers and volunteers, there has been an organized "fight" against this weed to help control the spread of the beast.

When the plants are young (around this time of year in Michigan,) it's relatively easy to pull them out by the root. As long as they are properly disposed of, in a sealed garbage bag for instance, people can really aid in preventing the loss of other plant (and animal) life. Oh, and speaking of proper disposal, it turns out the tender, young version of the garlic mustard plant is edible! We were given several different recipes today, but I didn't feel quite brave enough to bring any weeds home for cooking. The leaves have a very pungent, garlicky smell when you're near them. Incidentally, that is one sure way to know you're picking the right thing since they do bear an uncanny resemblance to young violets.

Overall we had a great time, and we both felt good about our volunteer efforts for the day. As luck would have it, we left the park a few short minutes before a glorious spring thunderstorm rolled through.

I'm glad to say this photo was taken from the relatively safe and dry vantage point of Holly's car!

P.S.

If you want to know more about garlic mustard, here is a longish, but rather informative video about the plant:


Garlic Mustard Identification and Control from Barbara Lucas on Vimeo.

Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday was a lot of fun for me this year. Although my younger sister had to work and wasn't able to be there, I had a good day with the rest of the family. My nephew was here, visiting from Indiana, which is always a plus for me since I miss him so much. My two-year-old niece, A. was a bundle of fun. This is the first year she really "got it," and I so loved playing with her.
For about the past six (maybe more) years or so, my family has been doing boy vs. girl (rather competitive) Easter egg hunts. This all started when my nephew was old enough to really participate in the fun and games, and quickly became a tradition. I have greatly enjoyed the camaraderie surrounding this little ritual, but I must say...we were all getting more and more "creative" in our efforts to be the team with the most eggs! Long story short, we changed things up a bit this year and let the two-year-old have most of the fun. Uncle Michael hid all the eggs in very age-appropriate hiding places for her,

and then we all helped A. as she looked for eggs. She had a great time with the hunt, and actually managed to find quite a few before her attention was captured by bigger and better things.

Baby L. wasn't feeling very well and was consequently pretty grumpy most of the day, but I was still happy to see her and {attempt} to help them keep her from crying too much. She wanted to be held all day (mostly by her mommy) and, even then we could tell she wasn't her usual happy self.

Of course the day wouldn't have been complete without some fun and games for the big kids too. Enter the lovely Mr. Marshmallow Peep! Nick and I decided to do the age-old microwave trick with our peep friend, and the results were...well, hilarious!

The poor little, gooey guy...I really don't think there's any way to win when you're a marshmallow peep on Easter Sunday! Even if you are lucky enough to avoid a couple of big kids at heart who will delight in subjecting you to microwave madness, you're still highly likely to be eaten alive!

And speaking of funny things, Nick got these absurdly-faced plastic eggs in his Easter basket. They made us laugh, a lot. Especially when he decided to start mimicking their expressions.


Last, but certainly not least, was the enjoyment of watching A. open her Easter baskets. She has had a sweet tooth from the time she first tasted chocolate, so this influx of more candy than she has ever seen was a delightful experience for her, and for us.

These Make Life Sweeter...

...nieces! I'm thoroughly convinced it's no coincidence that the words nice and niece are so closely related. One of the things for which I am most thankful in life is my status as "Auntie Melba." First with my nephew, Nick all those years ago, and now with my two sweet nieces, I have always been fortunate to have close relationships with these special children. A few weeks ago, Michael and I kept the girls so my sister and her husband could take a much-needed respite to celebrate their anniversary. It was a win-win situation, because we got some one-on-one time with these sweet girls, and they got a night of freedom. Here are my favorites from the images taken that weekend:

One sleepy, one silly

= arms full!

Is there anything better than a baby falling asleep in your arms?

Ava in Shades

One Big Baby!

L.G. - Life's Good!

{Auntie}

My Girl

I know you've heard of a pig in a blanket, but how about a dog in a blanket? This is our little fur-monster in a photo taken just a few minutes ago. She is nothing if not spoiled!

This past week has been a little rough for our poor puppy. On Monday she had to get six teeth pulled. It's a little annoying because when we asked about her bad breath this fall, they said we should possibly consider getting a dental done because of her age (she's 9) but not to worry about it too much. We switched over to the specialty dental food at that time and went on with life. Despite the more expensive food, the bad breath persisted. This was not only unpleasant to endure, but I could just tell Ditto wasn't feeling the best, which made me sad. We did indeed schedule the dental cleaning, as soon as we were able to come up with enough money. She went in Monday to have the procedure done. For dogs, even routine dental work is done as a surgery, so Michael and I were both a little nervous when we dropped our baby dog off Monday morning.

As it turned out, everything went fine, if you count having six teeth pulled as fine. Obviously they needed to come out...the vet apologized and explained that there really was no way to save the teeth. They had no explanation for why this happened, other than old age. It's a little hard to understand because we have always fed her dried food and taken good care of our puppy. She's been on antibiotics since she came home, but she is definitely beginning to feel better. Starting around Thursday she wanted to play again and ever since then her energy level has continued to increase. It sort of seems like we have the old Ditto back...our playful, hyperactive Jack Russell Terrier. In retrospect, I can see that she must have been in a lot of pain, which we were just chalking up to her getting older. I feel really badly about that, but I suppose hindsight is always 20/20...

Deep Freeze

As I type this, the temperature outside is 12.2 °F, which actually seems rather like a heat wave. This past week, Michigan has been experiencing a deep freeze. Temperatures in the neighborhood of -13 °F for several days in a row, which makes the wind chill temps somewhere in the neighborhood of -23 °F depending on the day. So cold that cars won't start and 50-year-old men were found frozen to death outside their homes. Bitterly cold. We know how to handle winter here in Michigan, but this was winter like we rarely experience. We made it through the week relatively unscathed not counting the dead car battery and my husband's frozen mustache. Needless to say, he was pretty freaking cold when this image was taken. This was the morning our car wouldn't start.

It certainly could have been worse, but I'm glad the arctic front has moved past for now.

We have had a lot of snow so far this year. Many days of digging the cars out of the driveway in the freezing cold. You can really see how much snow there was in the photo below...much more and the car would have been buried.

Our most recent big snowfall was about a week ago and it was a rather beautiful one. My parents live on 4 acres of land not too far from us. I had the chance to get a few pictures while visiting with them last Sunday:


And last but not least, a haphazard image of the bird's nest in our front yard. This catches my eye every time I come and go. I love the way the nest keeps collecting snow almost like a cone.