Chchchchchanges

Wow, yeah...so it's been a long time since I've posted to this blog. I've been regularly updating our adoption blog and semi-regularly updating my Livejournal but this one has been just sitting in the corner collecting dust.

Lately I've been feeling the urge to write more than I've actually been able to write. Michael and I are keeping a joint paper journal, which is wonderful for us relationship wise but which comes with strings attached for me personal journaling wise. I thought I might start a second paper journal for myself to keep in conjunction with the joint journal we're both writing in but I'm afraid that might inhibit the things I would write about in our joint journal. So...instead I'm turning more to the wonderful world of virtual journaling.

Lots of things have changed for me over the past several months. I'm a little more than half way through my first semester at EMU where I'm studying Elementary Education. This semester I'm in Chemistry for Elementary Education majors, which has been much harder for me than I anticipated. I thought that since I've changed so much as a student since my high school days and my studying habits are better it would just be easier but that has not been the case. My older sister is a high school chemistry teacher and sometimes I wonder how our brains could have possibly come from the same two parents. I just do not get the concepts of chemistry as easily as some people do and therefore I have to work much harder at it. Actually I should be doing chemistry homework now instead of playing with my blog but I'll get to it soon.

Along with my change in schools, my little three-and-a-half year old friend, Kyra has started going to a new school this September too. I've been caring for Kyra three days a week since she was two weeks old and I am sorely missing her, that's for sure. I know this change is yet another that is as it's supposed to be but that doesn't make it any easier, at all. It's tough because on one hand I'm proud that Kyra is so grown up and moving on to school (of course!) but on the other hand I want her to stay young (and stay with me) forever. She is a sweet child and she will always hold a very special place in my heart. I've loved her as if she were my own and there's no easy way to accept this change...I'll probably always miss her some. I just have to go through this as best I can. I know I'll still see her from time to time but it just won't ever be the same again and that's hard. I knew when she was tiny that these days would come but somehow I didn't expect it to be this hard. *Sigh*

Life at Eastern has been interesting, to say the least. I'm trying to make it my home and find comfort and friends here but there are times when I just miss WCC and all my photo buddies there. Sometimes I want to run back there screaming but then I remember that change is good and that if I want to be successful I must move forward instead of remaining stagnant. It's hard though, that's for sure. I'm becoming more comfortable with the EMU campus though and last week I found the cafe in the basement of the Halle Library so that was fun. There's actually a microwave for student use there, which means I can eat some slightly more decent lunches than all the fast food I was initially consuming. I truly hate fast food, I do...and I had gotten it completely out of my system...but then this semester hit me squarely in the forehead and it all went downhill. My life has been so insanely busy and hectic that I haven't (yet) been able to find a better way of fitting in my meals than to grab fast food on the run. 10 weeks in, as soon as my crazy semester is almost over I'm getting the hang of being this busy again, go figure!

Academically speaking I'd say I'm mostly happy with myself. If I were to be graded today I'd expect A's in music and my two reading classes, a B in Earth Science, and I'd be praying for a C in chemistry. Hopefully by the end I can be sure of a C in chemistry, move the B up to an A and maintain the other two A's. That would make me happy but I guess we'll see how it plays out. Other school things I have to worry about are my MTTC Basic Skills test results, which should be mailed out later this week (God I HOPE I passed!!) and my math placement test, which I need to take this week so I can register for next semester. I know why I'm putting it off--I'm afraid I'll place lower than I want to place...and I also know that putting off is getting me nowhere so why then do I continue to procrastinate? If I had the answer to that question I'd probably be a lot smarter! As it is I just need to stop accepting excuses from myself and bite the bullet so I can get it done and get signed up for next semester. Oh...and just as I was typing that sentence I remembered that I also have to pay EMU a minimum of $18 this week so I can remove the hold on my account in time to register. For some reason some of my miscellaneous fees (parking, etc.) were not paid out of my student account prior to my receiving a refund so now I owe the college money. Not a lot of money but enough that I can't pay it without messing up our very tight budget. :( One day at a time is the only way to play it in these cases.

Anyway...I had other stuff to write about but I guess I'll leave it for another post. It's getting late and I have to pee. I want to study for a while and then head over to eat lunch and go to my class that starts at 2:00.

MSL, age 32